A Handshake, a Bedroom, and a New Beginning

What Mikelann Valterra learned when her life fell apart at 40

Author

Matt Gilhooly
July 10, 2025

Sometimes a life shift doesn’t come with drama.
Sometimes it’s just a quiet moment at a familiar restaurant. A conversation you’ve been avoiding. A handshake you didn’t know would mean the end.

Mikelann Valterra’s story starts in that moment. Over sushi. Over fried ice cream. Over the realization that her marriage was ending. And from that very human unraveling, she began again.

“It wasn’t the lawyers. It wasn’t the process. It was the handshake. That was the moment my marriage ended.”

At 40, she moved back into her childhood bedroom with her nine-year-old son. No house. No retirement. Nothing but the knowledge that she couldn’t keep pretending. But she didn’t stay there. She used the same money tools she’d spent years teaching to rebuild her life. And somewhere between those morning pages and tango nights, she found herself again.

What stayed with me:

  • She didn’t call it failure. She called it freedom.

  • It’s possible to lose everything and still be okay.

  • The tools we use to help others can sometimes save us too.

  • Rebuilding isn’t one big leap. It’s thousands of small choices.

Mikelann now works with women in midlife who are navigating their own post-divorce transitions. But this episode isn’t just about divorce. It’s about identity. Permission. And that uncomfortable, messy, beautiful season when you start telling the truth.

If you’ve ever had to let go of the future you planned, I think her story will land somewhere soft inside you.

Talk soon,
Matt

PS: During a recent long weekend trip, I created a short-form podcast, “It’s Okay If…” Each episode is under three minutes long and provides a permission slip to simply be human. I’d be honored if you subscribed to the show. New episodes are released every Wednesday at noon ET.