The Promise Marie Made That Changed Everything

What a widow can teach us about choosing joy and honoring grief without getting stuck in it.

Author

Matt Gilhooly
September 03, 2025

When Marie Alessi’s husband, Rob, died suddenly from a brain aneurysm while traveling for work, she made a quiet but powerful promise: to create the happiest life possible for their two young sons. In episode 202 of The Life Shift, she shares how that promise carried her through the hardest moments — and how grief eventually became a visitor, not a permanent resident.

I’ve talked to a lot of people about loss. But something about the way Marie speaks — with calm, clarity, and that steady kind of light — stayed with me. This episode isn’t about “moving on” or skipping over pain. It’s about sitting with it, honoring it, and still choosing joy. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your grief, or like happiness was off-limits, Marie’s story might offer a different path.

3 things to think about:

  • Grief doesn’t have to move in forever. What if it’s just a visitor now?

  • Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is speak the unspeakable out loud.

  • Choosing joy after loss isn’t betrayal. It’s part of the love legacy.

2 things to ask yourself:

  • What promise would you make to yourself or a loved one if things changed tomorrow?

  • How can you allow space for both grief and joy in your day-to-day life?

1 thing to try this week:

Write down one message or memory from a loved one you’ve lost and keep it somewhere you’ll see it each day.

Thanks for being here.

If this episode resonates, I’d love for you to listen, watch on YouTube, or just hit reply and tell me what stuck with you.

Warmly,

Matt

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PS: During a long weekend trip in May, I created a short-form podcast, “It’s Okay If…” Each episode is under three minutes long and provides a permission slip to simply be human. I’d be honored if you subscribed to the show. New episodes are released every Wednesday at noon ET.